Bless Me Again, Father by Neil Boyd

Author:Neil Boyd
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781497698598
Publisher: Open Road Media

9 Game, Set and Match

Dr Daley entered Fr Duddleswell’s study, puffing and perspiring. ‘I crossed my legs and got here as fast as I could.’

‘Kind of you, Donal.’

Dr Daley looked enquiringly at each of us in turn. ‘Which of you Fathers is terrible sick? Or is it my good friend Mrs Pring?’

Fr Duddleswell who, a minute before, was brimming with health a trifle tinged by misery, was a changed man. Changed for the worse.

‘I phoned you because there is something amiss with meself, Donal,’ he said, grimacing. ‘Possibly only the beginnings of blindness or a weak heart.’

It was easy to see what was on his mind. Not what had happened but what was likely to happen to him.

Dr Daley planted his bag on the desk. ‘You seem exceedingly hearty for someone at death’s door.’

’I have a feeling,’ Fr Duddleswell said wanly, ‘I may need a doctor’s certificate to say I am unfit to play tennis, for a while at least.’

‘Dear, dear,’ the Doctor said, ‘I can see you positively glowing with ill health. Why did I not notice that before?’

‘Write me out a prescription right away, Donal, there’s a good feller.’

‘Take your jacket off first, Charles.’ As he started to undo the buttons, the Doctor, his hands on his hefty paunch, said, ‘You should slim yourself down like me, Charles. Turn me sideways and you wouldn’t know where I was.’

‘If I turned you sideways, Donal, I would not notice the difference.’

‘No need to be nasty, Charles. I simply meant that if you trod on a beetle, it wouldn’t stand much of a chance.’

Fr Duddleswell placed his jacket carefully on a chair. ‘Do not ask me to go any further with removals.’

‘Don’t be bashful with me, Charles. How can I examine you, when you are dressed like the Black Knight in a full suit of armour?’

Fr Duddleswell gazed with pity on the black lump of himself. ‘Surely you can tell already that I am dying faster than I decently should?’

‘You can keep the nether portions of your clothes on, Charles.’

I offered to go behind the screen if they preferred.

‘God, Charles,’ Dr Daley suddenly said, ‘my throat is dry as a thrush’s nest. I don’t suppose I could tickle your ear with a request for a drink.’

‘You could not. Any more of the calamity water and you will be measuring the length and breadth of yourself on the carpet.’

‘You always did have a very dry wit, Charles. Why, I can walk straighter than Justice herself. Besides, if your eyes are so dim, how could you know otherwise?’

‘I cannot, I suppose, Donal.’ Remembering his priestly duty to keep Dr Daley sober, he added, ‘But you are propping up the wall and no mistake.’

Dr Daley scratched the side of his nose and began the usual arm-twisting. ‘What were you wanting from me, Charles, a doctor’s certificate?’

In a flash, Fr Duddleswell produced the necessary: whiskey bottle and glass. He lodged them on the desk beside him.

‘I will pour you a drink when your task is done.

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